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about

A driving musical adventure into the lost jungles and kingdoms of the savage gods, rife with plunder, rapine, and imperialistic glee.

lyrics

Adventurers exploring the depths of the Lost Kingdoms of Man
Illuminating the savages with the swords in our hands
In the lair of the Demon Gods, we fight the Troglodytes
Oiling up their naked bodies then we set them all alight

In the name of our Empire, we ride to the attack
We thrust into the fray and don't look back

We ride and we kill and we never drink our fill
We think with our dinks and our seed is ours to spill
We take and we rape, and your spirits run and hide
Our length is our strength, but we're also very wide

Seeking crystal mysteries in the lost mountain pass
Winning glory and victory as we fight the Dragon's ass
Golden Temples exotic eyes, shadows in the dark
conquering the savage virgins with the power of our cocks

In the name of our Empire, we ride to the attack
We thrust into the fray and don't look back

We ride and we kill and we never drink our fill
We think with our dinks and our seed is ours to spill
We take and we rape, and your spirits run and hide
Our length is our strength, but we're also very wide

credits

from Weird Tales of Adventure, released December 29, 2014
Gonk Oakenschlong - rhythm and lead guitar, vocals
Turd Ferguson - lead and rhythm guitars
Thorax Abdomen - Bass

license

all rights reserved

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about

Gonk and Turd Creston, British Columbia

Gonk Oakenschlong and Turd Ferguson are a musical tour de force that is brilliant and unstoppable. The deep humor of their lyrics coupled with the high production values of their recordings give the listener a uniquely awesome hard rock experience.

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