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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Weird Tales of Adventure

by Gonk Oakenschlong and Turd Ferguson

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1.
Adventurers 04:24
Adventurers exploring the depths of the Lost Kingdoms of Man Illuminating the savages with the swords in our hands In the lair of the Demon Gods, we fight the Troglodytes Oiling up their naked bodies then we set them all alight In the name of our Empire, we ride to the attack We thrust into the fray and don't look back We ride and we kill and we never drink our fill We think with our dinks and our seed is ours to spill We take and we rape, and your spirits run and hide Our length is our strength, but we're also very wide Seeking crystal mysteries in the lost mountain pass Winning glory and victory as we fight the Dragon's ass Golden Temples exotic eyes, shadows in the dark conquering the savage virgins with the power of our cocks In the name of our Empire, we ride to the attack We thrust into the fray and don't look back We ride and we kill and we never drink our fill We think with our dinks and our seed is ours to spill We take and we rape, and your spirits run and hide Our length is our strength, but we're also very wide
2.
Bionic Bitch 03:57
3.
Throw all the switches, and check all the gauges Soon we shall prove that the fools were all wrong What we've built here, will live throughout the ages A triumph of science and wills that are strong Thrusting at heaven, a giant machine rises the eye of our hubris glaring straight at God steam from the boilers, straining under pressure soon we will pierce through the mystery's facade It's growing it's taking on a life of its own it's blowing the seeds of chaos innocently sown It's going And I don't know if we'll get it back Unknowing Juggernaut on the attack You know we didn't mean this when we built this Clockwork Penis We didn't realize that when the lightning struck You know we didn't mean this when we built this Clockwork Penis and now it looks like the whole world is fucked the airships drop fire, but their efforts are futile we can't put the lid back on pandora's box women and children fleeing for their lives are lost in the mobs swarming all over the docks looming above us, a steam powered phallus lurches through buildings in blind metal rage pass me the goggles, we have to get working somehow we'll put this beast back in its cage It's growing it's taking on a life of its own it's blowing the seeds of chaos innocently sown It's going And I don't know if we'll get it back Unknowing Juggernaut on the attack You know we didn't mean this when we built this Clockwork Penis We didn't realize how the gears would grind You know we didn't mean this when we built this Clockwork Penis we didn't understand the power of the mind
4.
Mastodong 04:05
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about

a hard rocking, dirty minded adventure into the wilderness of the minds, and the pants, of Gonk Oakenschlong and Turd Ferguson

credits

released December 29, 2014

Gonk Oakenschlong- rhythm and lead guitars, bass, drums, lead and background vocals

Turd Ferguson - Lead and rhythm guitars, bass, lead vocals on Bionic Bitch

Thorax Abdomen - bass on Adventurers, Mastodong

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all rights reserved

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about

Gonk and Turd Creston, British Columbia

Gonk Oakenschlong and Turd Ferguson are a musical tour de force that is brilliant and unstoppable. The deep humor of their lyrics coupled with the high production values of their recordings give the listener a uniquely awesome hard rock experience.

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